


A Soundtrack To Our Love

by Brookelinn



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M, Wedding Planning, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-08-13 09:22:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20171911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brookelinn/pseuds/Brookelinn
Summary: Choosing the song to dance your first dance as a married couple to shouldn’t be this hard. But when has anything with Patrick and David been easy?





	1. ‘The Best’...Or Is It?

“David, we can’t keep having the same argument over and over again. It’s getting exhausting.”

“Patrick, just hear me out. There isn’t going to be a song that’s going to mean more to either one of us than ‘The Best.’ Why are we even pretending that we’re going to dance to anything else?”

Patrick sighed and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. They’ve had this same argument so often over the last few months that it just seems like it’s woven into the fabric of their daily life. Wake up, open the store, help customers, get lunch from the cafe, argue about ‘The Best’, help more customers… Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

“David. I love you. So much. And you’re right, there is not another song that I can think of that is ever going to mean as much as that song. But since you’re completely unwilling to dance to Tina Turner’s version—“

David cuts him off, hands flailing, “Slow dancing to the original version is  _ incorrect, Patrick! _ ”

“”—and I’m unwilling to have our first dance as a married couple be to my  _ own voice _ ,  _ David, _ it seems like we’re still at the same impasse that we’ve been at for weeks!”

They sit in silence for a long moment, until Patrick inhaled sharply. David’s eyes shot up to look at him, worried that something was wrong.

“Patrick?”

“I have an idea. But first, let me ask you a question, David. Is ‘The Best’ the only song that makes you think of me? Makes you think of our love?”

David chokes on a laugh as he says, “You know the answer to that question already, honey. I have several playlists dedicated to you, broken down by major life moments, genre, and tempo. What’re you asking?”

“You know I’m the same way. I don’t feel that there’s only one song that encompasses my feelings for you and puts them to music. We both have playlists that are filled with songs that remind us of each other. Let’s go through those lists together and see if there are any songs that we can both agree on. If we can’t find one, we’re no better than where we’re stuck currently, but it’s  _ got _ to be better than having the same argument day after day. What do you think?

David’s face catalogs roughly 17 different emotions before landing on acceptance as he says, “Fine… but if we can’t agree, we’re coming back to this one!”

Patrick sighs, throws away his trash from lunch and walks over to the curtain. He starts to walk through and—without turning around to look at David—says “That’s the compromise pro I know and love, David.” 


	2. 1000 Times

A couple of days later, it’s lunchtime at the store again and David and Patrick are both quietly eating their lunches in the back room while on their phones. The nondescript jazz music that plays in the store is wafting through the curtain and it shakes Patrick out of his daze. 

“David, did you look through your playlists and think of a song that we could listen to as a potential first dance song?”

David looked up, clearly a little distracted and gesticulating wildly. “Oh, uhm, I don’t know. I’ve been a little busy trying to get the caterer to not ruin our entire lives, so…” 

Patrick chuckled. David’s flair for the overreactions and dramatics were always so endearing--until they weren’t--and he loved that he was the one person that David trusted to pull him back out of the quicksand that is his mind.

“That’s fine babe, I’ll go first. Do you want to hear one that I thought could be an option?”

David looked up at Patrick, ready to be slightly dismissive until he saw the genuine look that was plastered all over his face. He really was such a sucker for this button of a man. 

“Mhm, let me finish sending this email and I’m all yours.”

Thirty seconds later, David set his phone on the table and steeled himself for the song that Patrick was about to play for him. Patrick’s taste in things was improving all the time, so there’s no way that he’d suggest that they dance to a song by someone like.. Weezer or something, right?  _ RIGHT? _

Before David’s imagination led him down a spiral that would rival a waterslide, Patrick took David’s face in his hands and kissed him soundly. No real heat behind it--the ‘no sex at the store’ rule is still in place--but a kiss to connect them emotionally.

“Ground rules: No eye rolls. No talking until the entire song is finished.  _ Try _ to reserve judgement until the song is over. Okay?”

Bratty as always, David rolled his eyes one last time. “Yes, honey.”

“Okay, so I heard this song on a Spotify playlist when we first went into business together and it just… it just reminded me so much of how desperately I  _ wanted _ you. I didn’t even know what it meant to want someone like that, but I knew that I was drawn to you and I wanted to do anything I could to be around you. Honestly, I still feel that way. I know I always will.”

Patrick paused, looking at David like he hung the moon himself.

“I revolve around you, David. You’re my sun.”

A tear falls down David’s face and Patrick catches it with his thumb. “You’re everything to me, David. Everything. You were even back then.”

David hides his face in his hands, because he is about .5 seconds away from a full-fledged sob-fest and they still have a full half-day of work left. 

Patrick kisses him softly on the nose and hits play on his phone.

**1000 Times by Sara Bareilles**

_ Back of the room _

_ Looking at you _

_ Counting the steps _

_ Between us _

_ A hundred and five _

_ Little blades in a line _

_ From your skin to mine _

_ And I feel it _

_ Eyes on the ground _

_ But I can't look up now _

_ Don't wanna give it away _

_ My secret _ __   
  


_ In another life, my teeth and tongue _

_ Would speak aloud what until now I've only sung _

_ 'Cause I would die to make you mine _

_ Bleed me dry each and every time _

_ I don't mind, no I don't mind it _

_ I would come back a thousand times _

_ You can make me wait forever _

_ Push me away and tell me never _

_ I don't mind, no I don't mind it _

_ I would come back a thousand times _ __   
  


_ Kiss me goodnight _

_ Like a good friend might _

_ I'll do the same _

_ But won't mean it _

_ 'Cause love is a cage _

_ These words on a page _

_ Carry the pain _

_ They don't free it _ __   
  


_ In another life I wouldn't need to _

_ Console myself as I resign to release you _ __   
  


_ 'Cause I would die to make you mine _

_ Bleed me dry each and every time _

_ I don't mind, no I don't mind it _

_ I would come back a thousand times _

_ You can make me wait forever _

_ Push me away and tell me never _

_ I don't mind, no I don't mind it _

_ I would come back a thousand times _ __   
  


_ Again, again I let it go, let it go _

_ Cover my mouth don't let a single word slip out _

_ Wouldn't wanna tell you, no tell you, no _

_ Nothing could be worse than the risk of _

_ Losing what I don't have now _

_ And we could buy the minute, though is it so bad _

_ If I wanna cry out _ __   
  


_ That I would die to make you mine _

_ Bleed me dry almost every time _

_ But I don't mind, no I don't mind it _

_ I would come back a thousand times _

_ Make me wait forever _

_ Push me away and tell me never _

_ But I don't mind, no I don't mind it _

_ I would come back a thousand times _

_ I would come back a thousand times _

_ I would come back a thousand times _

  
  


As the song fades out, Patrick looks over at David whose eyes are red-rimmed and his face is tear-stained. He pulls David in to hold him and says, “Oh honey, come here. It’s not sad. It’s true. I’d come back a thousand times for you. You have to know that.”

David sniffles and says, “I do. I know you would. I’d live through everything in my past daily to get to this place with you too, Patrick. The song is just so beautiful. It means a lot to me too. You weren’t the only one with unrequited feelings back then. I am just so grateful that we’ve ended up here, that’s all. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, David. So much. So, so much.”

As they sit there, wrapped up in each other, David whispered. “I revolve around you too, you know. I don’t know how to exist without you, and I don’t ever want to.”

Patrick smiled into the crook of David’s neck. “I know, baby. I know. Me either.”

After a few more minutes, Patrick asks, “So, what do you think about that being our first dance song?”

David whipped around to grab Patrick’s face with both hands.

“Are you CRAZY? Why would you want to turn me into a blubbering pile of teary goo? I want the pictures to look good, Patrick!”

With that, David leapt up, turned on his heel and walked out of the curtain into the store.

Patrick chuckled to himself while he cleaned up their lunch remnants, until he heard muttering from the store floor.

“Honestly… it’s like you don’t even love me. If I’m a sobbing mess in photos, it’s WAR, Brewer!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is 1000 Times by Sara Bareilles, all lyrics are written by the artist


	3. You Collect Me With Your Steady Hand

After a particularly busy afternoon, Patrick and David were working through the post-closing tasks. Each man had their own set task list which helped to make things go quicker. Usually, they alternated who picked the music that they piped through the store’s speaker system while David did the restocking and cleaning and Patrick tied up the financials for the day.

“David, I think it’s your turn to play me a potential first dance song.”

David looked up, clearly a little distracted. “Oh, uhm, I don’t know. I have one that I like, but I don’t know if it’s--”

“Correct?” Patrick smirked and winked at him from across the store.

David shot him a glare, but there wasn’t any real malice behind it.

“Just put it on the speaker system, David. I want to hear it. Please?” 

David  _ really  _ couldn’t resist when Patrick leaned in and looked at him through his eyelashes like that. David pulled his phone out and started to connect to the speakers when Patrick stopped him.

“David. Aren’t you going to tell me  _ why _ you chose this song? I told you why I chose mine.”

If David’s eyes could’ve rolled back far enough to see his retinas, he would’ve. 

“Mmk, but I didn’t  _ ask _ you to do that. However, in the interest of fairness—and because I love hearing you say sweet things to me—I will tell you the reason that I chose this particular song.”

David’s mouth curled to the side and he looked up, knowing that if he looked Patrick in the eyes, he’d never get the words out.

“First of all, I would like full credit for the fact that this artist isn’t a 90’s diva because you know how I feel about my girls.”

Patrick laughed loudly. “Full credit given, love.”

“Okay. So, it doesn’t come as a surprise to you that I’m… I’m a LOT. As a person, I’m a lot. I have baggage worse than a cross-Atlantic flight, my anxiety is always ratcheted up to the highest level and somehow you’ve been able to stick it out through all of that. Moreover, you’ve been able to love me through it. You literally love me in  _ spite _ of my past, my anxieties, my stress… you love me for me. You ground me. You center me. You, Patrick, quite literally, ease my mind. So, when I heard this song, it was as if it was someone had climbed inside my head and picked all the thoughts and feelings that I have for you and put them to music better than I ever could have.”

When David finally dared to look over at Patrick, he realized that Patrick wasn’t behind the counter like he was when David had started speaking. Instead, he was right next to him, with tears in his eyes. 

“David, turn the song on and dance with me.”

“Patrick! The windows!”

“David. I couldn’t give a flying fuck about the windows. Dance. With. Me.”

A tear escaped Patrick’s eye and David wiped it away with his thumb and placed a tender kiss on Patrick’s lips. He hit play on the song and the two men danced in the middle of this little oasis of a store that they’d built together.

**Ease My Mind by Ben Platt**

_ Most days I wake up with a pit in my chest _

_ There are thoughts that I can't put to rest _

_ There's a worry that I can't place _

_ Most nights, I am restless and quiet won't come _

_ So I lay there and wait for the sun _

_ There's a trouble that won't show its face _

_ You came out of nowhere and you cut through all the noise _

_ I make sense to the madness when I listen to your voice _

_ Darling, only you can ease my mind _

_ Help me leave these lonely thoughts behind _

_ When they pull me under, and I can feel my sanity start to unwind _

_ Darling, only you can ease my mind _

_ I'll admit, for a moment I felt so afraid _

_ Just to show you the mess that I made _

_ There are pieces I usually hide _

_ But when you collect me with your steady hand _

_ With a language that I understand _

_ I feel put back together inside _

_ You came out of nowhere and you cut through all the noise _

_ I make sense of the madness when I listen to your voice _

_ Oh Darling, only you can ease my mind _

_ Oh help me leave these lonely thoughts behind _

_ When they pull me under, and I can feel my sanity start to unwind _

_ Darling, only you can ease my mind _

_ Darling, only you can ease my mind _

_ Help me leave these lonely thoughts behind _

_ When they pull me under, and I can feel my sanity start to unwind _

_ Darling, only you can ease my mind _

  
  


As the song ends, Patrick pulls David’s hand up to his mouth and kisses each finger before slowly looking up and David. Tear tracks stain the faces of both men and Patrick pulls him into a kiss that pulls almost all the air from David’s lungs. When they eventually pull apart, they’re gasping with their foreheads together.

“David…I love you so much. I’m at a loss for words right now. The fact that such a powerful song could serve as a proxy for how I make you feel… I…. I’m floored. I hope you know that you have the same effect on me. You’re the person who tethers me to the Earth too.”

A quiet sob escaped David as he buried his face in Patrick’s neck and they stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, until their breathing normalizes. David is the first to speak.

“We need to finish closing up. If people see us looking like this, the rumor mill will run rampant and we’ll never live it down. Plus, we both need to go home and apply some eucalyptus under-eye serum since we’re determined to make each other cry continuously.”

Patrick laughed and went back behind the counter. Within fifteen minutes, they’d finished up their closing tasks and were ready to leave. They probably could’ve been done sooner, but they kept hovering around each other with soft touches, each man unwilling to leave the side of the other for too long. As they were locking up the store, Patrick steeled himself to speak.

“David, I loved the song so much. It was beautiful. I just don’t think there’s any way we can dance to that at our wedding. I mean, look at us! We’re still emotional over it!”

“Oh honey, of  _ course _ I know that. Honestly, Patrick… there isn’t enough under-eye serum in Canada to offset how puffy our eyes would be for the pictures, and Photoshop can only do so much!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Ease My Mind, sung by Ben Platt, written by Ben Abraham, Ben Platt and Jenn Decilveo


	4. You Are The Best Thing

Friday nights were usually spent preparing for the Saturday rush. They’d usually order a pizza or get carry out from the cafe and stay late at the store. They’d restock the shelves, sweep the floors and rearrange any displays of products that they wanted to sell more of. While working, they’d usually chat and sometimes Stevie would come and keep them company.

But tonight, Stevie was busy and there was an uneasiness n the air. David had a particularly stressful encounter with Moira earlier in the day (honestly, what encounter with Moira wasn’t stressful these days) and Patrick had argued with a vendor on the agreed upon delivery schedule. The two men worked in relative silence, staying just outside each other’s orbits.

The unspoken tension was starting to weigh on both of them however, and Patrick knew that he needed to address it quickly before it reached fever pitch.

“David. Come here for a second.”

David looked back from the bath salts wall to see Patrick perched on the counter of the cash register. He turned around, straightened one last thing, and slowly walked over.

“I’m sorry. I know I’ve been in a funk, and I know you’re mad—“

“What? You think I’m  _ mad _ at you?”

David looked at Patrick quizzically. “Uhm,  _ yes _ . You haven’t said three words to me all evening so I simply drew the only natural conclusion which was that you were upset that I didn’t handle the situation with my mother very well and—“

Patrick clamped his hand over David’s mouth. David’s eyes got wide and his eyebrows shot up.

“David. Stop. I am not mad at you for being stressed about an interaction with your mother. I’ve been around her too. I fully understand how stressful she can be, and I know to multiply that feeling for you because you just want to fix everything for her. Get out of your own head about it. We both had rough afternoons and we retreated into ourselves a little bit. I just wanted to pull us out of it before it got too late.”

Patrick dropped his hand, but not before David pressed a kiss to his palm. 

“Thank you, honey. Although putting your hand over my mouth anywhere other than in bed is incorrect, I’ll make an exception for it this time.” David winked.

Patrick threw his head back in laughter and grabbed David’s face to kiss him squarely on the lips. “My benevolent fiancé.”

Patrick hopped off the counter and said, “I’ll flip you a coin for who runs across the street to get our food from the cafe… you in?”

David smirked and said, “Loser does one extra chore?”

Patrick grinned. “Deal.”

Patrick threw the coin up, David called heads and Patrick grabbed it in the air and smacked it down on his hand. “Moment of truth, David. You feeling sure about your choice?”

“Completely.”

Patrick took his hand off of the coin to reveal that it was heads. He looked up to David, who was grinning a full-toothed grin. He cocked his head towards the back room and said as he walked out, “You know where the broom is, honey!”

Patrick laughed and retorted, “I don’t know where this competitive guy came from, but we need to lock him back up in the box, David!”

*****

David ended up getting caught talking to Twyla about her second cousin’s best friend’s recycled candle-making business (she apparently takes the tiny wax remnants at the bottom of candles and combines them all together—scents be damned—to make her own candles) and it took him twice as long as he thought it would to get back to the store. When he got close, he heard music spilling out softly onto the street and Patrick swaying while sweeping the floors. 

He snuck in the door quietly so as not to spook Patrick and stood in the doorway taking in his fiancé. God, he  _ loved _ this man. This buttoned-up man always seemed to let himself get comfortable in their store after hours and memories flood back to David of the early days of their relationship when they were so desperate for privacy with each other. They’d stretch out the closing of the store for hours just so that they could stay in this little cocoon.

In his own little imagination world, David didn’t realize that Patrick had turned around and noticed that David was back. David’s mouth curled to the side and he said, “Enjoying your extra chore?”

Patrick didn’t miss a beat when he retorted, “Enjoying the show?”

“Always, honey. Always.”’

David moved to set the carry out boxes on the counter and started to explain to Patrick what took so long when he was stopped by a sudden thought.

“What was that song that you were dancing to when I came in? I’ve never heard you play it before.”

Patrick’s eyes brightened and he said, “Well, it’s another song that I was going to suggest for our dance, but seeing as how the last two have turned us into sobbing messes, I was second-guessing myself.”

He paused, looking down and then said quietly, “But I’d still really love to play it for you if you’d be willing.”

David put his hand over Patrick’s and tilted his chin up so Patrick looked him in the eyes. “I’d listen to anything you played me. Okay, well, not  _ anything _ . But seeing as how I’ve already kind of heard it, I’d love for you to play it again and this time I’ll actually listen to the words. Okay?”

Patrick grinned. “Okay, David. It’s not a ballad—obviously, since you heard it—but the lyrics spoke so clearly to me when I heard it for the first time. I’ve told you so many times, but you really are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Meeting you, starting this store with you, figuring out who I was always meant to be, falling in love with you… I can’t imagine what my life would have been like if I hadn’t met you. And I’m so grateful that I never have to find out.”

David’s eyes were getting red-rimmed and he put a quick kiss to Patrick’s hand. “We cannot keep crying over these songs, Patrick. We’ll never find one to dance to and we’ll be the only couple in history to not have a first dance because we’re emotional basketcases.”

Patrick smiled, took out his phone and pressed play on the song. He interlaced their fingers while they sat and listened to the lyrics.

**You Are The Best Thing by Ray LaMontagne**

  
  


Baby

It's been a long day, baby

Things ain't been going my way

You now I need you here

You clear my mind all the time

And, baby

The way you move me, it's crazy

It's like you see right through me

And make it easier

Believe me, you don't even have to try

Oh, because

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing)

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing, baby)

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing, ooh)

Ever happened to me

Baby

We've come a long way

And, baby

You know I hope and I pray

That you believe me

When I say this love will never fade away

Oh, because

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing)

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing, baby)

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing, ooh)

Ever happened to me

Both of us have known love before

To come on up promising like a spring, to walk on out the door

Our words are strong and our hearts are kind

Let me tell you just exactly what's on my mind

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing)

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing, baby)

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing, ooh)

Ever happened to me

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing)

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing, baby)

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing, ooh)

Ever happened to me

Yeah, yeah

(You are the best thing)

Yeah, yeah, yeah

(You are the best thing)

(That ever happened to me)

  
  


Somewhere between the second and third chorus, Patrick had yanked David off his chair and spun him around to dance. Not a slow dance, but an unabashed joyful dance. One that was filled to the brim with love and happiness. They spun each other around the store, laughing and grinning at each other while the horn section blared. A niggling thought in the back of David’s mind reminded him that this was almost exactly what happened towards the end of his olive branch, when he and Patrick had made such a momentous step forward in their trust of one another. And now, if he could look at them from above, it was so clear how worth it everything had been.

When the song ended, they both collapsed into their chairs, smiling and chuckling at each other. David grabbed Patrick’s face in his hands and kissed him soundly. He wasn’t looking to initiate sex, but he just needed to pour all of his emotion and love for Patrick into this kiss. When they finally pulled away from each other, Patrick looked at him through half-hooded eyes and said, “Wow, David. I had no idea you liked trumpets that much.”

David laughed at that and grinned widely at his fiancé. “They’re the most correct out of the brass instruments, so of  _ course _ I’m a fan. But that’s not why… I just needed you to know how much I love you. I’m just so grateful to have found you. You’re the piece of me that I didn’t know was missing, and I can’t believe that we found each other in this unfortunately named town but I would never trade anything in the world for you.”

Patrick pressed their foreheads together, reveling in the moment for a second longer. He’d been so unfulfilled and miserable for so long, but these last few years of pure happiness with David eclipsed all of those dark years. You’re not supposed to look directly at an eclipse, but Patrick would stare at his own until it blinded him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is “You Are The Best Thing” by Ray LaMontagne


	5. Here, Right Now

They moved into the backroom to eat their dinner and chuckled as David recapped his inescapable conversation with Twyla. David couldn’t keep thinking about that scent combination and the assault on the senses that it would be. (“Apple Pie and Fresh Cotton and Coffee and Pumpkin Pie and Mahogany and Teakwood, Patrick? The person who burns that candle would have a seizure!”)

After a few minutes of relative quiet, David looked up and said, “I have a song that makes me think of those times too, you know. I’m not the praying type, but I’ll have you know I’ve thrown up a prayer or two of gratitude to the universe for bringing us together.”

David cast his eyes downward and a slight blush crept up his cheeks. It was one of Patrick’s favorite sights, because he knew that David never let anyone see him like this: vulnerable and open. 

“Play it for me?” 

Patrick knew better than to demand something from David when he was feeling like this. His skittish cat nature would come out and he’d shut down at lightning speed.

“I don’t know…I shouldn’t have even said anything.”

Patrick could see the fear cast on David’s face.

“David, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I’m not going to force you, you know that. But, we’re still eating and…” 

Patrick trailed off and shrugged. He didn’t want to seem too eager, but he’d said his peace.

David looked at him, really  _ looked _ at him. If Patrick could be brave and show his heart on his sleeve, David could try to do the same. 

“Okay. Fine. I’ll do it, but only because you have your Disney prince mixed with actual heart eyes emoji face on and I’m merely a mortal man, Patrick. I try to resist, but have you ever  _ seen _ you?”

Patrick guffawed and covered his face with his hands. Speaking from behind them, which muffled the sound a bit, he said, “Would you rather I do this? Does this make you feel more comfortable?”

David peeled Patrick’s hands from his face and kissed his palms. “Don’t ever cover that face. It’s the last thing I’d want in the world, even if it makes me do things that are so far outside my comfort zone that I’m basically .5 seconds away from offering to join your imaginary baseball league or something equally insane.”

“It’s  _ fantasy _ baseball, David, and you have my word that much like Superman, I’ll try to use my face powers for good, not evil.”

David rolled his eyes and kissed Patrick on the nose, leaning over him to connect his phone to the Bluetooth speaker.

“Mkay, so remember a couple of weeks ago when you were gone at that small business tax refresher course? And I was at the apartment, working on wedding things and Skyping with Alexis? So, she was asking me about details and I was contemplating hanging up on her or claiming internet issues, but then she asked about the first dance song and she reminded me of this singer/songwriter that we saw perform the first dance song at Ellen and Portia’s wedding…”

“ _ Wait. _ You were at Ellen and Portia’s wedding?”

“Mmhmm. Portia was doing a guest stint on Sunrise Bay at the time, so we were invited. Alexis was mad because we had to cancel a trip on Paris Hilton’s yacht. Anyway, the wedding singer is someone named Joshua Radin and he has this voice that reminds me of yours: soft in the right places because you know your strengths.”

Patrick practically shone from the inside. He’s had compliments on his musical talents from other people over the years, but no one that mattered until David. For David to compliment him in a way that also  _ saw _ him… well, nothing could possibly compare.

“So I looked him up on Spotify to try to find the song that he sang at their wedding and it just… didn’t fit us. Anyway, I got distracted with the differences in the ivory and white linen options and his music just kept playing in the background on shuffle… I’m getting sidetracked, sorry…he apparently has a new song that he just released and when I listened to it… Patrick, it’s like he wrote it for me to sing to you.”

“My trust issues and past are what they are, but you’ve looked past them. You actively try to show me that  _ you _ are different from anyone I’ve ever known... I know I’ll never be able to thank you enough for it, but I know I’ll never stop trying. I’ll never stop attempting to be worthy of you and the love that you show me day in and day out. As much as I regret so much of my past life and the horrors that I experienced, I can’t help but see how it all helped me to see that you--and the  _ way _ that you love me is what I need and deserve. You deserve it too. I’ll spend every single day trying to reciprocate everything you’ve proven to me about love, honey. Every. Single. Day.”

David punctuated the last words with kisses on Patrick’s lips, because he’d just bared his heart-- _ again _ \--and he’d run out of strength to keep talking.

He grabbed Patrick’s hand and pulled him halfway on top of him, letting Patrick snuggle his head into David’s chest. David linked his left hand--engagement rings and all--with Patrick’s, grabbed his phone with his other hand, tapped to wake it up and hit play.

**Here, Right Now **

I've seen much more than most

Much less than some

Took a while to give up a ghost

Thought it'd never come

There were times, blood on my hands and I

Tried to wash away

Outside the lines I couldn't stand

Without a soft voice to say

That I'm here (I'm here)

Right now (right now)

Not lost (not lost) but found

And everything I've done

Has brought me to you

I got a scar, I don't try to hide it

It's forever mine

Got a heart, so long to find it

Can't remember why

You'll never know what you can be

Till ya come to realize

In the rearview all that has hurt you

It's just a passerby

'Cause you're here (I'm here)

Right now (right now)

Not lost (not lost) but found

And everything I've done

Has brought me to you

Now I hold my head high

You can see it in my eyes

I won't turn away

If the darkness comes, I'll stay

I'll stay

'Cause I'm here (I'm here)

Right now (right now)

Not lost (not lost) but found

And everything I've done

Has brought me to you

I'm here (I'm here)

Right now (right now)

Not lost (not lost) but I'm found

And everything I've done

Has brought me to you

Everything I've done

Has brought me to you

  
  


As the song ended, David tilted Patrick’s chin up with his fingers. Patrick’s eyes were closed, but David could tell that he was emotional behind his eyelids. David has noticed over the years that Patrick doesn’t immediately force him to talk through his feelings, but instead gives him the silence, space and support to work through his feelings and speak when he feels ready. David can absolutely do the same for Patrick. Instead, he just kisses Patrick lightly on each eyelid and presses a long kiss to the middle of his forehead. 

After several minutes, Patrick opens his eyes and pulls David into a sensual, emotion-laden kiss. Their lips sweep over each other, their tongues tease each other gently… it’s the kind of kiss that you could fall into forever.

Eventually, Patrick pulls back and David realizes he’s gasping for air slightly--kissing Patrick always means that he forgets to do normal things like breathe. 

“David… there aren’t words to tell you how much that song meant to me. I love you  _ so _ much. I hope you know that being with you means that I feel like I’ve been found too. I told you before that you make me feel right and I’ve never meant anything more in my life. But you, my love, you’re the light that I found. You’re who I look for when I get too far into my own head about things. Remember what I said when I asked you to marry me? Easiest decision of my life. These are the reasons why. God, you’re my North Star, David. And all I ever want is to be yours too.”

A tear slipped down David’s face as he said, “You are, Patrick. You have been since the moment I met you. Even if I didn’t know it back then, you’re my lighthouse.”

Abruptly, Patrick sat up and pulled David up with him, grabbing his face and kissing him like it was the last time he’d ever get to. 

“I couldn’t give a single fuck about the rest of what we have to do tonight. I’ll get here a little early in the morning to finish it if I have to. I can’t sit here another minute. I need to take you home and kiss every single inch of you. We’re going home, David.  _ Now _ . ”

Patrick switched off lights and set the alarm, dragging David behind him the entire way, not once letting go of his hand. He would stop occasionally to bite David’s bottom lip or swipe their tongues into each other’s mouths, but all the while making progress at leaving the store.

David couldn’t help but grin as Patrick manhandled him out of the store and into the car. If these songs and the emotional havoc they were wreaking had this kind of effect on Patrick, at least he could take advantage of Patrick’s insatiable need to ground himself to David through sex… lots and  _ lots _ of sex.

David made a mental note to make an extra coffee and tea run tomorrow. He was sure they’d need it, judging by the look in Patrick’s eye… and the fact that he just ran the one stoplight in town. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is “Here, Right Now” written by Joshua Radin


	6. Remedy

Saturdays at the store are the busiest days, often with customers in the store from open to close. Months before, Patrick and David had experimented with staggering their lunch hours in order to see whether it would have an effect on their profits (spoiler alert: it did). So, today, while David works the floor, Patrick eats his lunch while responding to vendor emails and planning the last open mic night before the wedding and honeymoon. 

Once the store had briefly cleared out of customers, David poked his head into the backroom to see what Patrick was working on. 

“How’s it coming back here?”

“Hmm? Oh, good, sorry. I’m almost done responding to these emails and then I’ll switch you spots. Just following up on one last email about the final open mic night before the wedding and then I’m done.”

“Ooooh, are you going to reprise ‘The Best’ for me? If I were writing a romance novel about our relationship, that’s what you’d do at least.”

“Well, since you won’t let me wear my fringe vest outside of the bedroom and I’m not built like Fabio on horseback, I doubt that I’ll reprise it, David.”

Patrick gave David a wink and went back to typing while David chewed at his thumbnail. 

“If you’re not going to sing it again, what’re you going to sing this time? Any ideas?”

Patrick turned around in his chair and looked at David expectantly. He knew that David didn’t like surprises much, which is why every song that he’d sung at open mic nights since the first one had been privately performed for David beforehand. Those performances always ended with David ravaging Patrick like he was sex-starved but there were zero complaints by either man.

“I have an idea of one, but I don’t know if you’d approve. I thought maybe I’d sing it for you later, on our way to date night in Elmdale.”

David grinned. Patrick knew exactly how much David loved to hear him sing, but he also indulged his need to temper his public reactions so he gave him private performances. David  _ loved _ the exclusivity of it—the fact that he was the first person to see Patrick sing the song. It always felt like a secret between the two of them that they gave each other permission to be shared with the open mic attendees.

“Okayyyy, I guess I can indulge your little performance in the car. But I had a song I was going to run by you too, so maybe I can play mine on the way back? A little two birds-one stone situation?”

Patrick hit send on the email he was working on, hopped up from the desk chair and walked over to David. He pecked him on the cheek and said, “Sure, sweetheart. I can’t wait. Now hurry up and eat before we get too busy. The customers do  _ not _ need to deal with a hangry David and frankly, our profit margins don’t either.”

With that, he walked through the curtain and left David in the back room to eat his lunch quickly. 

Before eating, David made sure to get the last word, though.

“You can’t just say things like ‘profit margins’ and expect me to not get rock hard, Patrick! You know how sexy I think I your business speak is!”

At that exact moment, David heard Patrick say, “Oh,  _ sure _ , Mrs. Fetterman. I can definitely ring you up.”

David’s face ran through the red side of the color wheel and he managed to choke down his salad while waiting to hear their little old lady customer leave.

___________________

Once they’d cleaned up and balanced everything, they got in the car around 4:30. David had made an appointment for them to swing by the bakery in Elmdale before dinner to get the samples of wedding cake flavors that they were trying to decide between.

Patrick couldn’t help but get a dig in when he found out that David had ordered 10 different samples.

“David, are you  _ oscillating _ between several?” 

David smirked.

“One more comment and you can’t try any of them, so I’d watch what you say next, Mr. Brewer.”

Patrick grinned. “Only one more month of calling me that, you know. Then it’s Mr. Brewer-Rose to you.”

David squinched his eyes shut and looked up at the ceiling in the car. Every time they talked about things like that--being  _ married _ , last names being changed, the future--it shot through David like a lightning bolt. He wondered if he’d ever get to a point when it didn’t shock him that he gets to have the life he’s living. 

“We’ve got a drive ahead of us, honey, where’s my entertainment? I believe I was promised an acapella rendition of your open mic song.”

Patrick smiled. “Not actually acapella, David. I recorded the instrumental portion so I could sing along and practice in the car. It’s a little bit of a challenge both musically and vocally…”

David was intrigued, it was really unlike Patrick to try to go outside of his range for the open mic nights. He knew how to take the songs and arrange them to fit perfectly into his vocal sweet spot.

“Oh really? That’s different for you. You sure you want to take on a challenge like that, especially now? I just don’t want you to stress yourself out unnecessarily over it.”

“I won’t, David, but I wanted to make this one special for you.”

David grabbed Patrick’s hand over the gear shift and laced their fingers together.

“Honey, every single one is special for me. Why else would I want you to perform them for me privately? I can’t bear the thought of not having had those moments between the two of us first.” 

Patrick smiled at that. He remembered when David would actively fight to keep his feelings hidden and now he said how he felt out loud to Patrick daily. He knew he’d never get tired of hearing the depth of David’s feelings for him, in whatever way that he wanted to express them.

“Okay. Can you grab my phone? Go into my voice memos and press the latest one… it should start playing through the speakers.”

David started to get the phone before stopping and asking, “You’re not going to tell me what song it is?”

“No, David. This one gets to be a surprise until it starts. It’s a  _ compromise _ .” With that, he glanced over and winked at David before training his eyes back on the road. 

David hit play on the phone and heard a beautiful piano melody roll in, trying desperately to place it in his mind until he heard Patrick start to sing.

As Patrick started to sing the first line of the song, it all clicked into place for David and he paused the voice note immediately.

“PATRICK ANDREW BREWER! DID YOU LEARN AN ADELE SONG FOR ME?!”

Patrick laughed out loud, because David had only called him by his full name one other time, and that was when he had moved the body milk into the refrigerator just to fuck with David. It had worked and David had launched into an expletive-laden rant that had Patrick and Stevie doubled over in hysterics by the end of it.

“Yes, David, but can I actually  _ sing _ the song that I learned?”

David stammered. “I mean… of… of course you can… I’m just so surprised about the choice… she’s a  _ diva _ , Patrick…..I just… I’m anxious.”

Patrick smiled. “David… I’ll do my best not to embarass you or Adele. Deal?”

“Deal.” David hit play again and leaned back while Patrick drove and sang. 

_ Remedy by Adele _

  
  


_ I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be _

_ So desperate to find a way out of my world and finally breathe _

_ Right before my eyes I saw, my heart it came to life _

_ This ain't easy, it's not meant to be _

_ Every story has its scars _

_ When the pain cuts you deep _

_ When the night keeps you from sleeping _

_ Just look and you will see _

_ That I will be your remedy _

_ When the world seems so cruel _

_ And your heart makes you feel like a fool _

_ I promise you will see _

_ That I will be, I will be your remedy _

_ No river is too wide or too deep for me to swim to you _

_ Come whatever, I'll be the shelter that won't let the rain come through _

_ Your love, it is my truth _

_ And I will always love you _

_ Love you _

_ When the pain cuts you deep _

_ When the night keeps you from sleeping _

_ Just look and you will see _

_ That I will be your remedy _

_ When the world seems so cruel _

_ And your heart makes you feel like a fool _

_ I promise you will see _

_ That I will be, I will be your remedy _

_ When the pain cuts you deep _

_ When the night keeps you from sleeping _

_ Just look and you will see _

_ I will be, I will be _

_ When the world seems so cruel _

_ And your heart makes you feel like a fool _

_ I promise you will see _

_ That I will be, I will be, I will be... _

_ Your Remedy _

As the song ended, David couldn’t stop the flow of tears from his eyes and he knew it was futile to even try. Patrick’s voice had cracked at the very end of the song; he clearly was emotional too.

As they drove in silence for a few minutes, David eventually grabbed a tissue from the center console and dabbed at his face and eyes before looking at Patrick.

“What made you choose that song in particular?”

Patrick sighed. He knew that David would ask that and he didn’t really have a great explanation for it, but they don’t lie to each other and he wasn’t about to start now.

“Did you know that you sometimes talk in your sleep?”

David’s eyes got wide and he shook his head. “I… I… Alexis has said something before, but I thought she was just being a bitch, so…”

Patrick chuckled. “I mean, you can make that determination if you want, but she probably wasn’t lying. You do it sometimes, but only when you’re really stressed about something. Anyways, I noticed it when you started sleeping over with me more but I couldn’t really parse together what you were saying. That is, until after Alexis left and the Crows movie fell through. All the family drama was falling on your shoulders again and you were under so much pressure, which isn’t ever fair to you. So, when you’d be sleeping, you’d start talking. But you wouldn’t talk about what was stressing you out. You’d start talking about your past partners. Begging them not to hurt you. Asking them to stay. Telling them you’d do better. It--it--it killed me to hear you say those things, David. I would think all day about why you’d be asking them to stay when you were laying in bed with me”

Patrick’s voice caught at that last sentence and he shook his head as he focused on the road, knowing full well that if he looked over at David the tears would fall in earnest and they’d have to pull the car over.

“So I just tried to compartmentalize those nights. They weren’t every night, so that made it easier. And then something in a conversation we had about three months ago made it all click for me. You’d started to bring up your past relationships more frequently and you said that you felt like you could talk about them with me because you knew now that you were worth so much more than what people had given you. And in that moment, I realized that you weren’t begging them to come back or wishing that you had them instead of me… you were channeling what you know now… that you are  _ so _ deserving of love. You were trying to tell them--subconsciously--that present David knows how much past David was worthy of being treated better…and… and I..... I just need you to know that I will spend every day of my life trying to make sure that you always know that you’re deserving of love.” 

David couldn’t hold it in any longer. A choked out sob escaped his lips and he clasped his hands over his mouth to try to keep any additional ones from escaping.

“Patrick, I… I’m so sorry. I wish you’d felt like you were able to talk to me about what I was saying in my sleep, or how it was affecting you. I honestly don’t even remember dreaming about those people which is even more concerning, but none of that matters. What matters to me is that you know me so completely, so intimately that you understood that I would  _ never _ pick any of those soul-suckers over you. You… I’m not entirely sure that I believe in the concept of ‘soulmates’ but there are so many things in our lives that just seem like too serendipitous to be anything other than fate.”

Patrick squeezed David’s hand as hard as he could at that statement, this conversation should never have been had in the car. The emotionality of it was almost too much to handle on the drive to Elmdale. 

“You really are though, you know. The remedy. The thing that fixes me. _Fixed me. _You made me the person that I always wanted to be, even though I didn’t know it at the time. And maybe my subconscious wants to go back and show those people that all that they did to me was put me on the path to finding you. And I wouldn’t change that for anything in the entire world. God, Patrick…. I just love you so much. I_ cannot_ _wait_ to be your husband.”

The car swerved over to the side of the road so quickly, David thought that Patrick’d almost hit something in the middle of the road. 

“What the f--”

David didn’t get to finish his sentence because Patrick was kissing him so soundly, so passionately and David didn’t have any additional oxygen to speak.

When Patrick finally,  _ finally _ slowed his kisses down enough for David to inhale, David pulled back just enough to look him in the eye. 

Patrick had tears in his red-rimmed eyes and his breathing was ragged. He sounded like he’d run a marathon in 4 minutes.

“Honey… not that I didn’t love every second of that, but what possessed you to pull over to the side of the road and almost suffocate me with kisses at this particular moment?”

“I just… David… I just… When you said you couldn’t wait to be my husband, something just happened in me and I couldn’t  _ not  _ be kissing you at this moment. I needed it more than I needed blood in my veins.”

They sat there, hazard lights flashing on the side of the road, foreheads pressed together, passing breath between each other until their heart rates had returned to a normal range and the adrenaline spike had subsided. 

Always the responsible driver, Patrick looked in the mirrors for a lot longer than needed before turning his turn signal on to return back to the road.

“You know I’m not playing my song until we get home, right? We can’t die before the wedding, Patrick. And we can’t be having these kinds of watershed emotional moments while one of us is behind the wheel of a moving vehicle… it’s simply in--”

“ _ Don’t say it.” _

“--correct.” 

“I’m moving the lip balms to the refrigerator. I swear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remedy, written by Adele Adkins and Ryan Tedder

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by my real-life. Eight years ago, when my husband and I got married, we pored over songs to create a soundtrack that told our love story. Then, we burned 169 CDs of them and gave them to our wedding guests as favors. Now, we update it yearly with new songs we find, but we’re smart enough to make it an Apple Music playlist. ;)


End file.
